Writing your own vows gives you the opportunity to create a very personal experience that will be a moment remembered by your guests for a long time, and something that will be more touching to your significant other. This can also be a scary task that might cause some anxiety to some people. You are sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings about the person you love the most in the world in front of a large crowd. You want the moment to be sweet, but you don’t want the moment to be too silly. You need to talk to your significant other and the person who is performing your ceremony to make sure that everyone is okay with writing your own vows. There are some officiants who only allow traditional vows, this allows guests to recommit to their significant others while you commit to yours for the first time. As soon as you get the okay, you can use the tips below to write your own vows successfully.
- Are you writing them on your own or together? You can write the vows together and say the same thing or you can write them separately and then you would have to say different things and that is a different process. Make sure that you talk to your significant other as soon as you decide to write your own vows so that there are no surprises at the rehearsal.
- What do you love about your significant other? Write it all down! Is he/she funny? Loves kids? Adventurous? Daring? Know all the right things to say when you are in a bad mood? How did you know you were in love with your partner? What is your favorite memory of your partner? How do you feel when you are together? Think about all the reasons you fell in love and the reasons your heart pounds whenever you are around them. This establishes how deep you love each other and how you will put them in your mind as you write your vows.
- Make promises to one another! Is there anything you would like them to promise to you? Do you want to promise to them? You will be able to evaluate the things in your relationship and what makes your relationship so special and unique. Be specific, but don’t say anything that might embarrass you two. It is okay to make people laugh, as long as you mean it sincerely. You are making a pact with each other, so you will want to make one that will make your relationship stronger and healthier.
- Put it all together. You want to start by declaring your love for your significant other. “Jake, you are my best friend and there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with. You always know what to say when I am in a bad mood and you don’t mind my little kitten attacking you. I love you more than words can even describe.” From here, you need to add more personal touches, like a shared memory or why you love them more each day or when you knew they were the right one for you. Include your promises to your significant other. “I promise to make you eggs every Sunday, and listen to you when you have complaints about work.”
- Practice makes perfect. I know that seems cheesy to say but its true. Practice in front of a mirror. It will be like reading a page from your journal in front of a crowd of your family and friends. It is okay to give yourself some space and you are allowed to cry. You should try to keep it under 3 minutes.